With this ring

Just before New Year, I took my wedding ring off my ring finger for the last time. Of course I haven't been married since Jen died, but I was wanting to find the time that felt right to stop wearing it. Since I've had it on my finger for more than 16 years (apart from odd moments when I'd take it off to fiddle, but even those were rare), it does feel odd not to see it there on my left hand. Every now and then, almost subconsciously I run another finger over my fourth finger, expecting to feel the ring.

Taking the ring off now has been a way of saying to myself that this is a new year, starkly different to those that have been before. I'm not married anymore, and I have to adjust to the life of a single person (with two children). I have no idea of whether I'll ever remarry, and taking off the ring is not a statement of any intention, only a recognition that a volume of my life is over.

For now I'm wearing the ring on a chain around my neck, the same chain I gave Jen for a 39th birthday present. It does make me feel a bit like Frodo Baggins in the 'Lord of the Rings' movies - I somehow expect it to hear it whispering to me. My ultimate plan is to have the ring altered to fit on the fourth finger of my right hand (it's currently too small for that, or the finger is too big), but it was going to be a few weeks before I could get that done.